Yup. That should do it, except they will have to retain a few students because they need to keep the sports teams. I first thought they might need a few musicians, but upon reflection I realized there’s no reason why they can’t substitute recorded music for the band. They will need one student techie to operate the controls for the sound board.
The author is, of course, making an ironic suggestion in the model of Jonathan Swift’s famous essay, “A Modest Proposal.” (Swift suggested that poverty could be eliminated by eating the children of poor people.) Like Swift, the author has a serious point to make: colleges actually have too many administrators (the ones he really wants to get rid of). In the college where he teaches, there were ten professors for every three administrators in 1990. Today there are two professors for every three administrators, meaning that relative to the professor base, there are now five times as many administrators.
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